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Instructions for my friend in Mars


Greetings dear friend, please find attached a selfie with my planet


My dear Martian friend, I don't know what the rate of reproduction will be like on Mars, but here we multiply like rabbits—little living beings that seem to tend to have an irrepressible urge to rub against each other for the purpose of multiplying. We no longer fit in the space we have. Fortunately, humans have some ability to solve problems; put our waste in hygienic bags and leave them scattered where they do not bother—see “Tactics of the living fool”—; we build pacification artifacts for altered minds—see “Nuclear Bombs, Television, and Other Peacemaking Instruments”—among many other creative solutions. We especially have a gift for accumulating things. Surely in that accumulating desire, either by accident, by ingenuity or both, the stairs were discovered. Stairs are elongated pieces that are stacked perpendicular to each other in an upward direction. These pieces can be made of any material, but it is preferable that they have considerable hardness and resistance —see Fundamentals of Industrial Design: S,M,X and XL—. To properly climb a ladder, it is recommended that you do stretching and strengthening exercises for the membrane or the tentacle, for which it is recommended to see "Aerobics for iron tentacles in 10 minutes" on Utube. Once in shape, it is recommended to practice some dance steps to develop the necessary motor skills. I have to say that if you are not yet psychologically ready, I can recommend the text “Safe Ascension: Make the Decision”. Finally, after this arduous training, you are ready to ascend to new horizons. Head to the nearest ladder, then stand in front of the first step and let yourself be carried away by the adventure. The first step may be scary, however don't let him intimidate you, it's you or him. Remember your training, move forward with a firm tentacle.

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